My Comments On Article, "Earth To Lou: It Didn't Have To End This Way

    Micaiah ben Malachi and I, too, have watched parts of "Lou Dobbs Tonight" on CNN, and have heard him made numerous racist statements about illegal immigrants being to blame for the social and economic problems here in the United States.  Of course, as people of color--I being Asian and Micaiah being Black and Native-American--we were offended, and, thus, stopped watching the show altogether.  While it is good that Lou Dobbs was forced to resign, he is not the only one to make racial statements publicly on major radio and television networks.  Like Lou Dobbs, Paul Harvey (who is now deceased) and Rush Limbaugh ranted and raved about "the browning of America" in reference to Hispanic immigrants as well as the intermixing of Whites with people of color in marriage relationships, and creating mixed-race offspring.  In addition, just recently, Lynn Samuels, who has her own talk show on Sirius-XM Radio, has jumped on the band wagon with Lou Dobbs, stating that President Barack Obama should publicly present his birth certificate that is filed at the courthouse in the town he was born in to prove the authenticity of his American citizenship.  Since President Barack Obama has not done that, they feel that he should be fired from his position.  Since when did a US president have to prove the authenticity of their American citizenship?  All the previous presidents were not required to do this, and the public did not demand it.  But, because President Barack Obama is Black (mixed African and White to be precise), he has been under more public scrutiny than the previous presidents have been.  The world has had higher expectations of him than they had of previous presidents.  Like Lou Dobbs, people like Paul Harvey, Rush Limbaugh and Lynne Samuels, have been, or are currently, publicly stating what the general public really feels about illegal immigrants, people of color who are American natives, and about having a Black president.  They fear the "browning of America".

    To illustrate, when Micaiah was a university student in Wisconsin nearly thirty years ago, he was constantly asked for his ID because he was assumed to be a foreign exchange student.  Because he did not fit the stereotypical Black who dressed slouchy, spoke with the same urban Black accent or was into sports, he was assumed to be a foreigner who talked proper English like a White person.  Then, a few years ago, one of our neighbors was talking to us .  He said, "The problem with the United States is that all the dumb Niggers were let in while all the smart Niggers were kept back in Africa."  He went onto say directly to Micaiah, "But you are different from all the dumb Niggers."  This neighbor was just as brazen and outspoken as the few mentioned above, yet this is how the general public, who are mostly silent, truly feel.

    The fact is that the economic and social problems plaguing the United States has nothing to do with the legal or illegal immigrants coming in.  These problems have been in existence for many years previous.  As for jobs supposedly being taken away from Americans by immigrants, those jobs were ones Americans did not want to do, so the immigrants were either forced to take those jobs, or they chose those jobs willingly.  In short, those blaming the legal and illegal immigrants only have their own selves to blame.  As for President Barack Obama being required to publicly present his birth certificate that is filed at the courthouse in the town he was born in to prove the authenticity of his American citizenship, he has not done that because no other president has had to do that.  Why should he have to because he's Black?  If President Barack Obama is going to be required to present his birth certificate, then the future presidents, regardless of race, creed or color, should also be required to do the same.

 

Makedah bat Leah.

Earth To Lou: It Could Have Been Different

Earth To Lou: It Could Have Been Different

 

Posted in Anti-Immigrant by Mark Potok on November 12, 2009

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It didn't have to end this way for Lou Dobbs. He could have been a contender.

But Dobbs, a supremely self-confident man who often mentions his Harvard education in private conversation, just wouldn't listen. Time after time, as the "Lou Dobbs Tonight" show he has hosted on CNN since 2003 grew more rabidly critical of undocumented immigrants, he was warned of the kind of people he was putting on his show. He was told that many of the "facts" he was presenting just weren't so. At first, he was gently called out for his defamations of Latino immigrants, then, as his tone grew sharper still, he was subjected to all kinds of public criticism from human rights groups, the journalism trade press, even a leading New York Times financial columnist. Instead of righting his course, or even slightly moderating his tone, Dobbs called his critics "commies" and "fascists." He fudged facts, defended earlier falsehoods, and promoted racist conspiracy theories. He fumed.

It all ended last night, when Dobbs announced on his program that he was resigning from CNN effective immediately. In a moment of supreme irony, he complained that public political debate was now overtaken with "partisanship and ideology," and promised to use "the most honest and direct language possible" in whatever future role he plays in public life. For once, he did not attack his critics.

My colleagues at the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) and I were some of those critics, and early ones at that. I began speaking to Lou Dobbs in 2004, not many months after he started airing virtually nightly segments entitled "Broken Borders." By that time, he had already run "reports" complaining about "illegal aliens" getting free medical care, educating their children in public schools, committing sex crimes, getting breaks on college tuition, filling the prisons and spreading diseases.

To my surprise, Dobbs answered my very first call immediately. He was interested in what I had to say, he said, and responded to my warning that an upcoming guest had ties to white supremacy by canceling the appearance. He asked that I keep him apprised of any similar situations. He said he was all in favor of multiculturalism.

That kind of back-and-forth culminated in Dobbs sending a five-person team from his show to the Montgomery, Ala., headquarters of the SPLC, in November 2004, after we contacted Dobbs about a guest who promoted the "Aztlan" conspiracy theory alleging a Mexican plot to "reconquer" the American Southwest. After much of our staff and I spent most of the day briefing Dobbs' people, they left saying that Dobbs planned a three-part series on extremism in America, and another on racism within the immigration restriction movement. And for a short time, Dobbs seemed open to hearing our criticisms and warnings. But that all came to end on his July 29, 2005, show, when he erupted over an SPLC report exposing racist elements in the Minuteman vigilante movement. Dobbs called us "despicable" and "reprehensible," although he did not dispute any of the facts we reported.

From there, things went south. That winter, we ran a story detailing members of extremist groups who Dobbs had put on his show. A few months later, we pointed out that in discussing the Aztlan conspiracy on the air, Dobbs used a map of the area Mexico supposedly coveted, explicitly attributed to the Council of Conservative Citizens — a group that has described black people as "a retrograde species of humanity." Then, on March 6, 2007, I was quoted on NPR saying that Dobbs was helping to mainstream conspiracy theories and propaganda that originated in white supremacist hate groups. Enraged, Dobbs called me a few days later to say that the SPLC and I had no integrity, and that, henceforth, we would be "adversaries." A couple of weeks later, I went on Dobbs' show to point out that Chris Simcox — the original founder of the Minuteman movement and a guest Dobbs had had on his air at least 17 times at that point — had told his followers that he had personally seen Chinese Red Army troops maneuvering on the U.S./Mexican border in preparation for an invasion. Dobbs seemed to find that funny, but he didn't repudiate Simcox.

Then, on May 6, 2007, I was quoted in a "60 Minutes" profile of Dobbs. CBS' Lesley Stahl pointed out in the piece that Dobbs had claimed in 2005 that "an invasion of illegal aliens" was "threatening the health of many Americans" and followed that up with a report claiming that 7,000 new cases of leprosy had been identified in America in the prior three years. (The truth is that there were about 400 new cases in the years in question, that leprosy is now an easily treatable disease, and that no one knew what role immigrants may have had in any leprosy case.) I criticized Dobbs' "journalism" in the piece, which sent Dobbs into a rage the next day on his own CNN show. He said he stood "100%" behind his bogus report, and he had his reporter re-identify the source of her allegations — a right-wing fanatic named Madeleine Cosman, who the SPLC had earlier documented telling an audience that "most" Latino immigrant men "molest girls under 12, although some specialize in boys and some in nuns." Cosman had no expertise in immigration or medicine.

The last time I was on Dobbs' show was on May 16 of that year, along with my boss, SPLC President Richard Cohen. (Our appearance followed by a day the printing of SPLC ads in The New York Times and USA Today calling on CNN President Jonathan Klein to retract Dobbs' false leprosy claim, as Dobbs himself refused to do so.) Our interview was preceded by a setup piece containing a completely new set of claims about leprosy. Now, Dobbs claimed that new cases of leprosy had "risen" to 166 in 2005. Nothing was said about the supposed 7,000 cases, and Dobbs never conceded any error at all. The mail we got after the show from Dobbs' supporters was memorable. "You people disgust me and I hope you burn in Hell," wrote one. "In memory of your appearance on Lou Dobbs, I will make a GENEROUS donation to a well known hate group in YOUR NAME." Another put it like this: "You can shove tolerance up your ass as far as possible. Hate is alive and growing!" And a third wrote to regret that cowboy days were over, otherwise "you and your associates would be hanging by a rope."

We fared a little better with The New York Times, where David Leonhardt wrote a long column concluding that "Mr. Dobbs has a somewhat flexible relationship with reality." Around the same time, the Columbia Journalism Review wrote that Dobbs was "tamper[ing] with facts" and "pretending the confusion was someone else's fault." Dobbs' response to all of this was to attack SPLC and the Times, informing his CNN audience that he would tell them "who's really telling the truth and who the commies are and who the fascists are who have the temerity to attack me."

In the years since, SPLC has regularly written about Dobbs, documenting the real truth about his various claims and pointing out his role in poisoning the debate about immigration in the United States. Our point was never to stop a robust debate about immigration — quite the contrary, we were all in favor of such a debate, but felt that it should be based on facts, not racist propaganda or conspiracy theories. Finally, in late July of this year, after Dobbs seemed to suggest that President Obama was not a U.S. citizen, SPLC President Cohen wrote CNN's Jonathan Klein to ask that Dobbs be fired. "Respectable news organizations should not employ reporters willing to peddle racist conspiracy theories and false propaganda," Cohen wrote. "It's time for CNN to remove Mr. Dobbs from the airwaves." The letter set off a chorus of similar demands from other human rights groups, and a movement by many of them to press that demand grew quickly. It concluded yesterday with Dobbs' departure.

Did it have to happen this way? Obviously not. But Dobbs never could hear anyone whose opinions varied from his own. When he was confronted by Stahl in the "60 Minutes" piece about his leprosy error, Dobbs' response was typical. "Well, I can tell you this," he told Stahl. "If we reported it, it's a fact."

Stahl replied, "You can't tell me that. You did report it."

Dobbs: "Well, no, I just did."

Stahl: "How can you guarantee that to me?"

And then, this gem from Dobbs: "Because I'm the managing editor, and that's the way we do business. We don't make up numbers, Lesley, do we?"

As it turns out, he did. No longer, however, at CNN, "The Most Trusted in Name in News." Not any more. But it didn't have to be this way.

Commentary On Article from AIsh.com

    I read Gideon Silverstone's commentary about the Michael Jackson Movie, "This Is It", which is the rehearsal he was doing for what would've been his upcoming "This Is It" tour in London.  I have not yet seen the movie, but I'm waiting until it's out on DVD.  Not only is it easier to watch movies on DVD so that Micaiah ben Malachi can describe the scenes to me without other viewers in the theater complaining about Micaiah talking to me in my ear, but we do not have to worry about the bus route and schedule of our local city bus to get to the theater and back home.  Another reason for waiting until this particular movie's out on DVD is because Michael Jackson's death is still very painful for me to deal with.  It's not that I'm focused on his death instead of the message in his songs, as it is the reverse.  It is taking the big step of letting go that is difficult for me.  Unlike many who idolized him as a performer and entertainer who danced and sang, I loved Michael Jackson for who he was as a human being with feelings.  Not only did the lyrics in his songs convey messages of making individual changes to make the world a better place, but his songs about love, the pain of being mistreated, and feeling sad and alone showed that there was more to him than the dancer with all the wonderful dance moves and the singer with all the squeaks and squeals.  Having been picked on and humiliated by adopted family members and classmates as a child, I could easily relate to what he sang about; such as the song, "Childhood".  The more negative things people said about Michael, the more I was drawn to him.  In fact, there were times when I got defensive at the utterance of a negative statement that I got angry.  I was so drawn to him through his music that he felt like a close friend or relative to me.  So, when he died, I felt like a part of me went with him.  When Micaiah told me a few weeks ago about this new movie coming out soon, it made me cry.  As much as I keep wanting to hold onto Michael Jackson, the idea of the movie was another reminder to me that this would be the last recorded performance ever and that I had to learn to let go.  I have to stand on my own two feet and help carry on Michael's messages instead of keep looking back for Michael's physical existence.  Yes, his spirit is still alive and can be our guide, but we all have to learn to let go of the physical and hold onto the spiritual.  That is what I have been trying to work on since Michael's death.

    About a week ago, Micaiah told me that he read on the Internet that Michael had recorded two new songs that he would be performing in his "This Is It" tour.  When Michael Jackson, himself, announced that the upcoming tour was it, he said, "this is it".  So, I, naturally, thought that the phrase meant that this was the last tour he was ever going to do, or this was the tour that his fans have been waiting for for fifteen years.  This is it.  Well, about five days ago, I was channel surfing on Sirius-XM Radio when I heard the beginning of a song I'd never heard before.  Curious about the song, I listened.  The song was "This Is It" by Michael Jackson.  It is always nice to hear new material from Michael Jackson, yet hearing the song left me feeling sad and empty.  Not only was there that reminder of his physical absence, but the usual power of energy in his music was duller.  Yes, I strongly feel that he put his all into the song, but there was no more extra energy left in him to put in that drive that was in his past songs.  Sure, he was older and it had been eight years since his last album, "Invincible", but the various problems he had over the many years and, in particular, the last six years, had taken a toll on him mentally and physically.  The mental drain from his personal problems, in turn, drained him of his physical energy.  I have since heard the song three or four more times and just found out before writing this blog entry that there will also be an album, which is the companion to the movie.  To hear the song go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQichHlV_-4 

Below is the lyrics.

 

Makedah bat Leah.

 

---

      

This Is It

Michael Jackson

 

This is it, here I stand
I'm the light of the world, I feel grand
Got this love, I can feel
And I know yes for sure, it is real

And it feels as though I've seen your face a thousand times
And you said you really know me too yourself
And I know that you have got addicted with your eyes
But you say you gonna live it for yourself

Oh

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on baby just understand

This is it, I can say,
I'm the light of the world, run away
We can feel, this is real
Every time I'm in love, that I feel

And I feel as though I've known you since a thousand years
And you tell me that you've seen my face before
And you said to me you don't want me hanging round
Many times wanna do it here before

Oh yeah

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan

I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on baby just understand

This is it, I can feel
I'm the light of the world, this is real
Feel my song, we can say
And I tell you feel that way

And I feel as though I've known you for a thousand years
And you said you want some of this yourself
And you said you want to go with me all the while
And I know that it's really true myself

Oh yeah

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on please baby understand

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on baby please understand

Oh yeah

I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan

This Is It!

 

 

This Is It

This Is It?

 

Aish.com

 

http://www.aish.com/ci/a/68177057.html

 

This Is It?
by
Gideon Silverstone

 

Michael Jackson's farewell movie is a hit, but it also provokes some difficult questions.

 

When I was ten years old, during recess the kids in my class would hover around a ghetto blaster playing Michael Jackson's "Beat It" and we would break
dance. Thirty white kids at a Jewish school spending all of our spare time perfecting our respective moonwalks. Such is the power of fame.
Block quote start
One dancer reveals that he's searching for something to believe in, to make his life better – and this is it.
Block quote end

 

Nowhere is this clearer than while watching "This is It," the new movie which documents the final weeks of Michael Jackson's life with behind the scenes
footage of what was to be his farewell tour. Indeed the movie opens with interviews of various hopefuls who are trying out for a spot in Jackson's dance
troupe. Each of them explains why they want in so badly and their reasons are somewhat startling: this will be the best experience of their lives; Jackson
means so much to them; this is all they ever wanted to do and so on.

 

But one dancer reveals even more. He admits that his life is difficult. He's hit rock bottom. He's searching for something to believe in, something to make
his life better -- and this is it.

 

"This is it."

 

There's something sad in this revelation, and I suspect he's speaking for many of us fans. Why was Jackson so important to us? Because he was a great dancer?
A talented singer? An excellent performer?

 

Jackson was indeed all of these things, and this is abundantly evident watching the movie. He can still dance, and can still sing. At 50, it's quite remarkable.

 

"This Is It" will no doubt please Jackson fans for those reasons. It also contains most of Jackson's best known hits, and even features a remarkable new
Thriller video. One can't help but feel that this would have been a fantastic farewell tour. It's a shame.
Block quote start
I think Jackson himself was aware of the danger lurking behind the cult of celebrity.
Block quote end

 

But this isn't the only shame. The reverence with which Jackson is treated in the movie, and during his lifetime, is troubling. There are moments when those
watching Jackson's performances during the movie are what one should expect: singing along, enjoying the return of a talented performer. But there are
times when the people watching whip themselves into such a frenzy of dancing and cheering that it borders on worship. In fact, at one point Kenny Ortega,
the director of both the film and the entire tour, says "It's like a church in here. The church of rock 'n roll." And therein lies the problem.

 

When did we as a society begin worshipping singers, actors, athletes, or any human beings really? Why can't we restrain ourselves and enjoy someone's talent
without elevating him to a superhuman level? Clearly Jackson's personal life demonstrated that he had his fair share of problems. So why do we pretend
otherwise?

 

The cult of celebrity has become such a potent force that it borders on dangerous and I think Jackson himself may have even known this. While he loved performing
for his fans -- the movie makes this clear -- he did not enjoy the severe public scrutiny. And we fans are partly to blame for this. Perhaps if we had
treated him as a performer rather than a prophet, things would have ended differently for him.

 

I think one of Jackson's songs even alludes to his wish that people look inwards instead of outward to a "savior." "This Is It" ends on this note, with
Jackson's popular song "Man in the Mirror:"

 

I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself and then make a change

 

Perhaps on this one we should all take Jackson's advice.

 

This article can also be read at:
http://www.aish.com/ci/a/68177057.html

 

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Shooting In California

The recent shooting in California of two Jewish men on there way to morning prayers is a great concern. The police detain but at this time has not arrested the suspect of the shooting who is Black. Three months ago a White man shot a Black security guard at the Holocaust Memorial in Washington. There have been incidents of violence against Jews all over the world, not just the United States of America. Makedah and I worry because we live in a community in which the people are Christians and Muslims. Since moving here, we have yet to meet any other Jews. There is a old saying " there is safety in numbers". However, we have no such safe haven to retreat to should someone wish to harm one or both of us. There are people in this world who are filled with hate and bitterness. Instead of welcoming diversity, they run away from it. My mother used to tell me, "it is so easy to hate and so hard to love in this world". It saddens us to know people have chosen to cause Jews to fear for our personal safety. These haters have so many misconceptions about what Judaism is about. It is doubtful they have ever had a relationship with Jews. They only know what they have been told and heard from others who are antisemitic. No one should be fearful of gathering to worship G*d nor those who live outwardly as Jews.

Micaiah b. Malachi

Halloween

Well tonight is Halloween. A night when children dress up in costumes of varies super heroes and other persons, going door to door and getting lots of candy and other treats. While Makedah and I have no children between us, we plan to give candy to others people's children who come to our door. However, in the 8 years or more of us living in this house, we have yet to have even one trick or treater. Even though we are nice to everyone we meet, our efforts usually are met with being ignored or racist stares. It is difficult to live in a community which does not welcome Blacks, Hispanics or Asians. Neither does they welcome non-christians. Unfortunately for us we are a Jewish couple and one Black man and Asian female. It is hard to see all the little children and know we will never be able to get close to them, without having lots of trouble with their parents, other family members such as uncles, aunts,grandparents and their friends. We know these people are aware their isolation, racist attitudes and their disgust for disabled people hurt us. We also know they do not care. It seems their families, their homes and their jobs are closed systems to people like us. Many of these white families object to having mixed raced children, non-white son and or daughter-n-laws. They object to their children investigating and or converting to other religions. Makedah and I have met many open-minded children since moving here. We see them wondering the streets looking for unconditional love and unconditional acceptance from strangers, who are often children like them or adults. I have not wrote much since the death of Michael Jackson. I really respected him and his message of unconditional love and unconditional ac ceptance. There are many in this world who feared him. They feared his message. They were angered when this Black man wanted "white" children and went around the racist roadblocks put in his way. They were jealous and afraid of the respect and adoring fans he had amassed. I agree with Michael Jackson. Change must begin at home and in the home. We must change our conceptions about what makes up a family. Why can't a family be composed of a White man and Black woman and a family composed of White and or Black children whether by adoption or natural birth? Why can't a Black man and an Asian woman like Makedah and I have white and mixed race children in the same family? Why must a family be composed of a man and female? Gay and lesbian couples can raise a good family as any male and female could. The fact is this world is greedy, selfish, racist and evil. Halloween maybe a holiday in which children get candy, but it is also a day for children to be taught to be just as greedy, selfish and racist, sexist as their parents. I would like to see these children learn more about humility, sharing and caring. People who are unable to having children should not be shut out or made to feel bitter because they cannot share in the excited feeling of watching children have fun. Children are our future. Without them, there is no way we can change this world for good.

Micaiah b. Malachi

Memories Shared & Personal Memories

    Hello Everyone and those who read our blog:

    first, I wanted to mention that this Saturday would have been Michael Jackson's 51st birthday, thus, the previous posting called "We Have Something In Common".  I'd meant to mention this in that posting but forgot in my excitement <giggle>.  Second, I would like to share some recent memories people shared with me or that I, myself, was a part of, over the last two months.

    As I shared with people my memories of Michael Jackson--that I was thirteen when he did his infamous Moon Walk and how that was the talk all over the junior high school I was attending, how some friends of mine and I sang "We Are The world" for a talent show, etc.--people shared their memories with me.  A few days after Michael Jackson's death, my oldest daughter (stepdaughter) and Micaiah ben Malachi's ex came down to visit us for a day.  As we listened to Michael's music on Sirius Radio and watched his videos on MTV and VH1, our daughter, who is now twenty-six years old, told me that, whenever she hears the song "Remember The Time", she always remembers the video of it.  The video came out in 1993.  Whenever that video was on MTV or VH1, she, her younger sister and Micaiah always happened to be watching it together.  It became one of their favorite videos.  At that time, she was ten and her sister was seven years old.  A few days later, Micaiah and I were talking to a neighbor acquaintance.  She was telling us that her daughter was about three or four years old during the popularity of Michael's "Thriller" days.  I cannot remember if our acquaintance said that one of Michael's videos was on TV or if one of his songs was on the radio.  Anyway, when one or the other was playing, her daughter proclaimed that, when she grew up, she was going to Mary Michael Jackson.  I had to roar with laughter over that one because even for a three-or four-year-old, Michael Jackson was a girl's dreamlover or husband.  This brings me to something I personally remembered.

    I was thirteen years old at the time of Michael's "Thriller" popularity days.  My adopted parents had been divorced for three years by this time, but I always visited my adopted dad on weekends and during the summers.  My adopted dad had been renting out the upstairs bedrooms to a single mother who had a daughter.  When I was thirteen, the mother's daughter was three years old.  I was playing my "Thriller" cassette day and night repeatedly, so the mother and daughter became just as familiar with the music as my adopted dad did.  Ten years later, I happened to drop into visit with my adopted dad and his new family when I learned that there was going to be a Sabbath dinner and that some guests were coming over.  Not only was I invited at the last minute, but I was told that the single mother who was renting the upstairs was coming over with her thirteen-year-old daughter.  Since I hadn't seen the mother and the daughter for over eight years, I wasn't sure how much the daughter would remember about me.  One of the first things she told me as we were all chatting while eating was, "I remember you used to like Michael Jackson.  You used to play his songs all the time."  Until that moment, I'd forgotten all about those days, as many things had happened in my life from late 1983 to 1993.  I don't remember what I said to her, but I remember being amazed over how clearly she remembered those days.  First impressions, those that she could clearly remember, make lasting impressions.  Sixteen years have passed since then.  Micaiah and I were listening to Michael's music in our living room the day after his death when the memory of that young girl came back to me.  I just had to laugh as I related the stories to Micaiah because it took a girl who was ten years younger than me to remind me of something that would otherwise have been dead in my bundle of memories I'd long forgotten.  That would've been sad, especially since I'd made quite a lasting impression in a little girl's mind who was looking up to me like I was her big sister, entertaining her with Michael Jackson's music.

    A few weeks after recalling that memory and relating it to Micaiah, Micaiah's ex and our two older grandsons came down for an all-day visit and barbecue.  The older child is five years old and the other is two and a half years old.  There was a little bit of wind blowing that day, so smoke and some ashes from the grill blew in our direction.  Since Micaiah was cooking, he was in the direct line of fire.  Noticing the ashes on Micaiah's arm, his ex jokingly commented that his skin was turning white.  I replied that I hoped that he wasn't trying to be like Michael Jackson.  The five-year-old, who I thought was further out in the backyard, quickly turned around, saying that he could dance like Michael Jackson.  Thinking that he was joking, I had him demonstrate.  While he could only do the basic motions of the Moon Walk, he did excellent wit the spin as if he'd been doing it for many years.  It nearly brought tears to my eyes as I watched.  Upon asking him where he saw Michael Jackson dance, he explained that he watched it on MTV.  I told our grandson that it was "many years ago when Michael Jackson first danced like that; way before he (our grandson) was conceived or even thought of."  It shocked Micaiah and I that a five-year-old could be so quickly influenced by anything, but then I had to remember how I'd once left an impression on a three-year-old's mind for her to recall and relate that to me when she was thirteen and I was twenty-three.  The following week after the barbecue with our grandsons and Micaiah's ex, they returned and went with us to our local county fair.  Thrilled over his new skill of dancing like Michael Jackson, he decided to try dancing at the same time of walking down the sidewalk.  It was quite a hilarious thought, but I had to keep my laughter inside so that our grandson wouldn't think that I was endorsing the idea.  In fact, Micaiah's ex even asked our grandson, "What is with this sudden Michael Jackson frenzy?"  Upon returning from the county fair and relaxing for a little while from walking around all day, I fulfilled my promise to our grandson that I would play a couple Michael Jackson songs for him to dance to.  I started out with "Heal The World".  I got the impression that he hadn't heard any slow songs by Michael, as he said, "That's not Michael Jackson."  It wasn't until he heard Michael's voice that he finally believed me.  We followed that song with "Remember The Time", which he enjoyed more because the tempo was upbeat.  Micaiah sang as our five- and two-and-a-half-year-old danced.  Being that two-and-a-half-year-olds repeat everything they hear, our younger grandson tried singing along as well.

    Finally, About a month ago, Micaiah and I were talking to the librarian that helps us find Jewish books and music.  I made a joke about how the initials of her first and middle name matched Michael Jackson's.  Not only did that get her laughing, but it prompted her to relate a recent incident.  One of her grandchildren came into the room with a leather Superman glove and red cape.  Unlike most of such leather gloves, this one had a silver-color-tinted thread woven through it to hold it together, which made the glove looked like it was sequenced like Michael Jackson's.  The red cape, too, resembled Michael's red jacket.  The first thing our friend thought of when she saw her grandson enter the room with the glove and red cape was Michael Jackson's attire, so she quickly reacted, saying something like, "Lose the glove."  Confused with what was going on, her grandson looked at her as if to ask, "What did I do wrong."  The little boy wasn't setting out to try to dress like Michael Jackson, just super man, but the first thought that flashed across our friend's mind was Michael Jackson.  Thus, she was reacting to that thought.  I had to laugh over that story, though, as I could just picture it being that her grandson was close to the same age as our five-year-old grandson, who likes to do his "Michael Jackson dance" as our grandson calls it.

 

Makedah bat Leah.

We Have Something In common!!!

    I mentioned in one of my previous blog entries that Micaiah and Michael Jackson had a lot in common--lifestyle, family upbringing, the area of the United States they grew up in, the kind of parents they had, etc.  Well, as my way to cope with the pain and sadness over Michael's death, I'd been writing little tribute things or things that I remembered in the past with my friends and I.  That's helped me cheer up.  Well, a few days ago, I started thinking about Chinese zodiac signs out of the blue, and started looking up all of my friends and relations' signs.  Micaiah and one of our grandsons were born during the year of the sheep, another relation was born the year of the ox, etc.  Michael Jackson and I were born the year of the dog.  I had to laugh at the irony of this when I looked up the years of the dog being that Michael's role in the Thriller video was the werewolf.  Here are our characteristics as the dog.  Not only do I agree with the description, but I've found the Chinese zodiac to be more accurate than other ones.

 

Makedah bat Leah

 

---

 

Dog:

Feb. 18, 1958 to Feb. 07, 1959

Feb. 06, 1970 to Jan. 26, 1971

 

Dogs are honest,straightforward,and friendly. They are extremely protective of themselves and their loved ones. With a passion for fair play and justice, they never fail to rescue you time after time. They may rant and rave, but they never rest until they right the wrong. They are true humanitarians and suffer with the world. In spite of their concern for others,social graces and fancy parties do not impress them. Having sharp eyes, they will see through people's motives. They are quite private about their personal lives and someone prying into their affairs make them secretive and withdrawn. Once you gain their confidence, they open up freely.

Once Dogs classify you, they rarely change their minds. There are few in-betweens. Dogs perceive things either in black or white. You are either friend or enemy. Luckily, they are good judges of character and have superb insight into human nature. Dogs are tolerant of their friends. Before they approve of you, the friendship must develop slowly with a variety of meetings and conversations. If they look you over and decide they can trust you, you remain in their hearts forever. If you need them, Dogs will be there.

When the time is right, Dogs work long and hard, but they know how to relax, and enjoy their home and loved ones. The Dogs have playful moods and a great sense of humor. They have quick emotions and if you offend them, they will snarl and insult you with expertise. They forgive with the same speed. Dogs are intelligent and well-balanced. With their stable minds, they make good counselors or psychologists. They endure during any crisis situation. They are trustworthy people and know how to keep a secret. Being efficient and very diplomatic, they can hide their prejudices well. Most Dogs have a comfortable home and do well. Dogs always defend what is theirs and have a high sense of value. Home and family come first,and Dogs will work to see that they have the best!

 

Only The Good Die Young?

    The toxicology report from the L.A. Coroner's office in the investigation of the cause of Michael Jackson's death was finally released to the public yesterday.  According to the Associated Press, various drugs to help Michael Jackson sleep were found in his body.  Basically, when one drug didn't work, the doctor gave Michael another drug.  When the second drug didn't work, another drug was given.  In the end, Michael was given a drug called Dipravan by I.V., which is only given in hospitals before surgery.  According to the doctor, he checked on Michael Jackson about a half hour after he administered the Dipravan only to discover that Michael wasn't breathing.  That's when he tried to resuscitate Michael to no avail.  Now, with the toxicology results and the various raids on the doctor's properties, it's said that there's a possibility that the doctor will be charged with murder.  As to whether he'll be charged with Second Degree or Manslaughter, that's not yet known.

    I wasn't at all shocked over the news.  Some people wondered whether Michael Jackson had committed suicide, but he wouldn't do that, especially knowing that he had children that depended on him.  He didn't want to hurt his children by committing suicide.  One thing I've noticed from reading history and now experiencing history is that it seems like those who have done all they could to do the right thing by addressing the social problems that plague our world end up dying young.  Why is that?

    When Moses was leading the Israelites out of Egypt to the Promised Land, many of those who left with him complained about the hardships in the wilderness.  They started questioning God (G*D).  The many little miracles--the parting of the Red Sea, the Egyptians drowning in the Red Sea in their chariots, etc.--that Moses pointed out as these events unfolded, didn't seem to matter to the people.  All they saw was that Moses was leading them out of familiar territory into the unknown to be stranded.  Yet, many years after Moses's death, he's now remembered by Jews for being the best leader; the one who, with G*D's guidance, led us out of Egypt.  When Jesus was carrying the message of the Torah to the common people, they were drawn to him.  His messages spoke of brotherhood and treating "others as you would want to be treated".  He also made G*D into a personal G*D.  However, the Sanhedrin, who had power over the common Jews, saw Jesus as a political threat because this meant that the Sanhedrin could no longer control the common people.  As a result, he was crucified.  Jesus' message of universal brotherhood didn't die with him, though.  His message still endures to this day.  During the 1960s, Martin Luther King Jr. went to many cities throughout the southern part of the United States and spoke of equality for all regardless of race, creed or color.  Even though such bills as the Voting Rights Act, which gave Blacks the right to vote, and the Civil Rights Act, which declared that people couldn't be denied services based on race or religion, were passed, there were still many Whites who felt threatened by Martin Luther King Jr. and his message.  As a result, he was assassinated, but his message still lives on to this day.  Not only have many more public places become desegregated since the 1960s, but we now have a Black president named Barack Obama.  There are many others like the afore mentioned, but I don't want to bore the reader.  Finally, Michael Jackson started out singing bubblegum music when he was part of the Jackson Five/The Jacksons.  Then, in the mid 1980s, he started singing songs about "we", as a people on this earth, "are the world", affecting social change by starting with the "man in the mirror", and healing the world so that this "world can be a better place".  (We Are The World by U.S.A. for Africa, Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson, Heal The World by Michael Jackson)  He also had White children not only because that's what he wanted, but also to state the fact that, if White people can have Black children, then Black people can have White children as well.  As he stated in a song, "It don't matter if you're Black or White".  (Black Or White)  There were many who didn't like the fact that Michael had White children.  As a result, various allegations were made against him for child molestation and sleeping with children.  In an interview on a CBS program called Sixty Minutes, regarding these allegations, Michael said, "Jesus said to love all always".  He went onto say that he saw God in the children's faces.  The alleged charges were dropped, but bad publicity portraying Michael Jackson as a pervert in tabloids and news media prevailed.  The next thing everyone learned on June 25, 2009 was that Michael Jackson was found dead at the age of fifty years in his rented mansion.  Two months later, we now learn that he was murdered.  All Michael Jackson was doing was carrying out the messages of love, universal brotherhood, and equality for all, which Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr. and many others not listed in my writing here carried out in their lifetime.

    Though Moses was old when he died, everyone else mentioned here in my writing died very young.  Why is that?  Micaiah and I were discussing the answer to this question yesterday in my grief and anger over Michael Jackson's death.  As I reflected more on Micaiah's answer during some quiet time, his answer made a lot of sense.  Micaiah's answer to my question was that people who are evil feel threatened by those trying to affect social change.  Those who work to affect social change shine a light on those who are unwilling to make changes.  Those who are unwilling to make changes don't want to be told by others that they need to look at themselves in the mirror and make that change because this world is very ill and needs healing.  They are happy with the world and their lives as it is.  Thus, the evil people kill the messenger.  As a result, it seems like the evil people live till they're old while the good die young.  Moses, Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr. and the many others were messengers, but their messages are still alive.  In turn, their spirits still live on.  If we continue to carry Michael Jackson's message by living as an example, then all that Michael Jackson and those before him tried to do will not die.  Like Moses, Jesus, Martin Luther King Jr. and others, Michael Jackson's spirit will also live on.

 

Makedah bat Leah. 

The Orphan

When I converted, I wasn't looking for a new community. But that's exactly what I found.

by Aliza Hausman

I am an orphan. But my parents are alive and well.

I haven't spoken to my mother in over ten years. And I might as well not be speaking to my father, who I call (he never calls me) every six months for an always disjointed, awkward five minute conversation.

My close friends are comfortable with me calling myself an orphan. Some of them have confessed that hearing about my childhood has scarred them. It's the acquaintances, the new people who pop into my life, who laugh nervously when they hear me call myself one. "Are your parents dead?" I shake my head. "Then how can you be an orphan?" And they look slightly tremulous as they wait for my answer.

For a moment, I think about not answering, just letting it go, letting them stay in their perfect, pristine plastic bubbles where parents are supportive, kind, there-for-you. Most of my observant Jewish friends have grown up in happy, healthy two-parent homes. How can I tell them about the kind of parents I've had?I stopped loving my mother when I was eight. It was a defense mechanism.

I stopped loving my mother when I was eight. It was a defense mechanism. I knew if I continued loving her, it would kill me. Over the years, the older I got, the more violent my mother became. The mental illness warping her mind caused her to lash out in horrifying, unexpected rages. A hug turned into a slap. A calm conversation led her to throw knives at my head. Compliments became death threats.

On the last day I spoke to my mother, she held me down after her latest attack and covered my mouth to muffle my screams. I was 17. I ran away the next day and didn't look back until I was 21, when I came back to rescue my sisters. For the three years that followed, I fought my mother for custody of one sister before I finally won.

My father ran away when I was four. While I watched, my infant sister cradled my arms, my mother broke a ceramic platter over his head because he had been cheating on her. (I still have recurring nightmares.) At the hospital, the doctor told my father if it had been glass, he would have died.

My father moved out soon after. When I was 21, after 10 years of not speaking, I asked my father how he could have abandoned us with her. He told me, "I grew up without a father. I turned out fine."

Evicted

When my little sister recently moved back to New York City with her new husband, she couldn't find an apartment. Though they had saved up money for the move, landlords were skeptical about renting a $1000-a-month apartment to young working-class folks who didn't make more than $20,000 a year.

At every place my sister and I looked at together, we heard the same questions. "Don't you have parents who can cosign a lease? Don't you have parents than can act as guarantors?" Don't you have parents? Every single time, we were reminded of having no safety net, no parents to fall back on, no family to take us in when there's no place to go, no parents to fix seemingly unfixable situations. "We don't have parents," we said.

My sister ended up moving into an apartment with a stranger looking for roommates. She answered the least shady, online ad that she could find and finally, she and her husband moved in. But a week later, U.S. Marshalls broke into the apartment and evicted everyone, including the roommate who hadn't paid $20,000 in back rent. My sister explained this to me in throaty sobs over the phone. It wasn't the first time she'd been homeless. But now, it was her, her husband and a cat with no place to go.

We talked about giving the cat up for adoption (I'm deathly allergic) so they could move into the one-bedroom apartment I share with my husband. But my sister couldn't. "The cat is family," she explained. I felt overwhelmed by my helplessness. I was the older sister. I had always been the pseudo-parent who fixed things. But I had no idea how to fix things this time.Within minutes, I was inundated with offers from friends who were willing to open their homes.

I did what I have always done to cope with impossible situations, I wrote about it. I even posted something on Facebook. Within minutes, I was inundated with messages, emails and phone calls from friends who were willing to open their homes to my sister, her husband and maybe even the cat.

I converted to Judaism because I spent a childhood fervently praying to God but never feeling comfortable in my parents' Catholicism. At 14, I first read about Judaism and was shocked to discover all my thoughts about religion in one slim "Introduction to Judaism" book. When I finally converted at 26, I wasn't looking for a new community or even a new family.

But that is exactly what I found.

Within an hour of being evicted, my sister and her husband were moving into a new place. As soon as they were settled, my sister called again. She wanted to know if she could borrow some books. "What kind of books?" I asked. "You know, books on keeping kosher, books on keeping the Sabbath," she replied. She didn't want to offend the religious Jews who had taken her in.

I let go of my biological parents long before my conversion. I was more than happy to replace my birth parents with Abraham and Sarah, even if they were only my parents in spirit. That was already more of a connection, a deeper one, than I'd ever had.

But I never expected that when Abraham and Sarah adopted me, the Jewish community would become my safety net, there for me -- and my non-Jewish sister -- if I needed it.

Published: Sunday, August 02, 2009 

 

About the Author

Aliza Hausman

Aliza Hausman is a Latina Orthodox Jewish convert, freelance writer, blogger and speaker. Currently working on a memoir, she lives in New York with her husband who is pursuing rabbinical ordination.

Reaction to "The "Unfathomable" Arrest Of A Black Scholar"

    I read the article Micaiah sent to everyone and posted on our blog about the Black scholar who was arrested.  He was arrested because he was reported to have been breaking into someone's home.  When the police arrived was when they finally learned that the so-called burglar was the home-owner.  Even though he had a key to get into the house, the White lady who called the police figured that he, probably, stole the keys from the home-owner and used it to break in.  As was stated in the article, non-Whites are often portrayed to be dangerous, and, thus, end up behind bars for crimes they've never committed.  Even when alleged charges are dropped, as was the case with Michael Jackson, and the prisoner's released, non-Whites are marked for life for the crime they were alleged to have committed.  The family and/or the public treat that victim as if he/she was the criminal.  In turn, his/her career is affected.  They're fired from their jobs, or, in Michael's case, are badly publicized to the point that the public and/or family  turns on them.  Such alienation doesn't stop with the victim, however.  Their immediate and extended families, and descendants are affected as well.  they are mistreated and are told horror stories about their dad or mother, aunt or uncle, sister or brother, grandma or grandpa, etc.  It gets to the point that everyone wants to believe the lie rather than the truth.

    I remember an incident four years ago here at our home.  It was about 9:00 at night when Micaiah and I heard a family altercation taking place at our next-door neighbor's house.  The sound of shouting and swearing finally ceased an hour later, so we thought that the altercation had been resolved or dropped altogether for awhile.  The next thing we knew, we heard a man's voice say to someone else, "I'm gonna get you, Bitch" as they proceeded to run down the sidewalk past our house.  Fearing that the man was preparing to hurt the person, Micaiah retrieved his Beebe gun, which looks like a real pistol, while I retrieved my cell phone to call 911.  Micaiah stood at our front entryway with the screen door closed with gun in hand while reporting the incident outside our house to 911 dispatch.  Meanwhile, we saw the couple trace their way back to their house, passing our house once again.  Suddenly, the line went dead.  We figured that 911 wrote down our report, so we decided to pour ourselves some coffee while waiting for the police to arrive.  The next thing we knew, Micaiah saw some bright spotlights shining on our house and I heard strange whispering outside our back door.  I figured that the police had gotten the wrong address, so I offered to walk with Micaiah down to where the squad cars were located.  As soon as Micaiah returned to the front entryway, he heard someone say, "there he is" followed by commands to come out of our house with our hands up in the air.  Our house was entirely surrounded with a SWAT team.  Confused with what was going on, I followed the instructions while they allowed Micaiah to drive his wheelchair slowly and carefully out onto our front porch.  As we were exiting, the female cop recognized us, acknowledging that she had stopped traffic for us numerous times before.  At that, the SWAT team lowered their guns while the female cop searched us thoroughly.  Apparently, the woman who was being chased called 911 while we were on the phone with 911, stating that they saw a "Black man with a gun standing in the entryway" and that she was fearing for her and her son's safety.  When the line went dead while Micaiah was on the phone, Dispatch wrote down the woman's report and disregarded ours altogether.  So, when the police responded, they were going by what Dispatch told them.  What it boiled down to was that we were portrayed to be dangerous, not ones who were out to protect someone and hold a perpetrator at bay until the police arrived.  Since the female cop instructed us to not use our gun unless the perpetrator is coming into our house, we now don't react when we hear someone sounding like they're threatening to hurt someone. 

    A few weeks after that incident, one of our neighbors called the police to report a burglary.  The neighbor must have insinuated that Micaiah and I may have been the culprits because the cop who responded came to our house to ask us some questions.  We didn't know anything about the attempted burglary, as it had happened in the middle of the night and the force of entry was in the rear of our neighbor's house.  Since the cop who responded was the same one on duty when we were almost arrested, he believed us when we told them that the neighbor often had many people over on weekends for drinking parties and that some of those people could've been the culprit.

    what it all boils down to in the end is that Micaiah and I watch what we do and say.  We also don't get involved with anybody personally or superficially unless they are close friends of ours.

 

Makedah bat Leah.

Someone In The Dark--Commentary & Lyrics

    A few years ago, someone gave me copies of some Michael Jackson CD's she had.  One of the albums was "Thriller", but the edition I was given also had a brief interview of Quincy Jones, producer of the Thriller album.  It also contained other songs that Michael did with Quincy Jones that weren't released on any of Michael's albums.  One of the songs was called "Someone In The Dark", which can be found on an audio album called "The ET Storybook".  That album was for those who'd never seen the movie, ET.  Not only is the song very beautiful in it's instrumentation, but the lyrics are beautiful in that it reminds me of when I watched the movie and when Micaiah and I met.  I wasn't too sure about this ET creature at the beginning of the movie, but I soon fell in love with him and wished that there was such a creature for me to meet and be friends with.

    When people think of ET, people think of some kind of space alien.  However, ET can also be viewed as someone who's here on earth by the way they're treated or feared because they're scared of what that person looks like or are intimidated by that person's intelligence.  People of color are often treated like a bunch of ET's.  Micaiah and I are people of color, and have been treated like we're different or something out of this world because of our talents and intelligence.  We met in the early evening of November 16, 1995.  It was dark by then here in the northern US.  It wasn't until much later in our relationship and having watched the movie again and heard "Someone In The Dark" that I realized that the relationship between Micaiah and I was similar to the relationship between the boy in the movie and ET.  Everywhere the boy went, ET was there. 

 

Makedah bat Leah.

 

---

 

 

Someone In The Dark

Michael Jackson

 

All alone wishing on stars

Waiting for you to find me

One sweet night I knew I would see

A stranger who'd be my friend

 

When someone in the dark reaches out to you

And touches off a spark that comes shining through

It tells you never be afraid

Then somewhere in your heart you can feel the glow

A light to keep you warm when the night winds blow

Like it was written in the stars I knew

My friend, my someone in the dark was you

 

Promise me we'll always be

Walking the world together

Hand in hand where dreams never end

My star secret friend and me

 

When someone in the dark reaches out to you

And touches off a spark that comes shining through

It tells you never be afraid

Then somewhere in your heart you can feel the glow

A light to keep you warm when the night winds blow

Look for the rainbow in the sky

I believe you and I

Could never really say goodbye

Wherever you may be

I'll look up and see

Someone in the dark for me

Wherever you may be

I'll look up and see

Someone in the dark for me

 

Though you're gone star far away

Each time I see a rainbow

I'll remember being with you

Smiles coming through my tears

 

When someone in the dark reaches out for you

And touches off a spark that comes shining through

It tells you never be afraid

Then somewhere in your heart you can feel the glow

A light to keep you warm when the night winds blow

Look for the rainbow in the sky

I believe you and I

Could never really say goodbye

Wherever you may be

I'll look up and see

Someone in the dark for me

Wherever you may be

I'll look up and see

Someone in the dark for me

 

About Michael Jackson's Memorial Service, Reflection & Moving On

    I felt it necessary to do this to provide that closure to the last two and a half weeks.  Though I wrote about it in my personal journal that Tuesday evening after Michael Jackson's memorial service, I never got around to editing it for our blog so as to eliminate wordiness until now, as I was still raw with deep emotion.

    As I said, Michael Jackson's memorial service was on Tuesday, July 7.  Micaiah and I watched it on CNN.  The service was held at Staple Stadium, where, come to find out, Michael's last rehearsal for the London Tour took place the night before he died.  The service began with an old Black spiritual being sung as Michael Jackson's coffin was being brought to the front of Staple Stadium.  I don't remember the name of the song, but it was went something like "The King is coming".  It was so beautiful and fitting that I almost started to cry.  Of course, my eyes welled up with tears when his coffin was finally placed in front of the stage because it was the moment of finality.  There were various speeches and performances.  One particular speech was the one Reverend Al Sharpton made.  To Michael's children, Al said something like, "The public said that your daddy was strange, but it was what your daddy had to deal with from the public that was strange."  Yes, Reverend Al Sharpton did join in on making negative statements about Michael during Michael's trial, but what he said at his memorial service was perfect and couldn't have been said better.  As the audience clapped, I stretched my arms out as if to hug Al.  Marriah Carey performed I'll Be There at the beginning after the first speech following the placement of Michael's coffin.  Because she was so choked up, she could barely get her voice to carry, but she got through it and her voice got better as she sang.  The outstanding performance was Jennifer Hudson singing Will You Be There, which was a song from the Free Willie soundtrack.  There's nobody who can do it as well as Michael did, but Jennifer was as close as you could get in her expressing the energy Michael did in the actual song.  Then, there was a performance done by a little boy who was about ten or twelve years old.  Not only did he sound like a Michael Jackson reborn, but come to find out at the conclusion of the service, the youngster was scheduled to appear with Michael in the London Tour.  As this youngster sang, I could hear, feel and see Michael's spirit in him.  There'll never be another Michael Jackson, but this youngster, though White, was as close as you could get.  Hip-hop singer Usher also performed a song that he wrote in tribute to Michael.  Unfortunately, Usher couldn't sing the whole song because he fell apart in tears.  It was really heart-wrenching.  Other performances and speeches were by Lionel Richie, Queen Latifa, and a Congresswoman who was part of the Black caucuses.  The black Caucus is trying to push through a resolution in honor of Michael Jackson, which, unfortunately, has to be discussed on the House floor.  Since the House is primarily made-up of White conservatives, pushing Resolution 600 may be a hurdle.  If it does pass, it'll only be out of sympathy and public outcry from fans who know or hear about Resolution 600.  At the conclusion of the service, before the pastor's concluding speech and prayer, the artists who performed sang We Are The World with Lionel Richie in the lead.  Of course, the performance could never be repeated exactly in the same manner as the original performance back in 1985, but they did well with it.  The performance of We Are The World was followed with children up on stage singing Heal The World.  I remember when I first heard that song back in 1993 as if it was just yesterday or today.  I had my radio playing while I was cleaning my apartment when Heal The World came on.  I hadn't planned to pay much attention to the song, as the radio station was playing a bunch of garbage beforehand.  Then I heard that Michael Jackson was singing.  The next thing I knew, I was listening to every word.  I'd never heard it before, but it touched my heart in the same way We Are The World did that I cried.  In fact, the song reminded me of We Are The World.  I knew that I couldn't afford the album it was on, but I was determined that I was going to, at least, buy the single.  When I heard Heal The World, it had been eight years since I'd heard something as beautiful, like We Are The World.  To this day, I cry a little from time to time when I hear Heal The World, but that Tuesday, July 7, I cried like never before when they performed it.  I was crying so uncontrollably that I couldn't focus on just listening to the performance.  I knew the words by heart, but I could barely hear them through my uncontrollable sobbing.  Not only does the song touch my heart every time, but the true reality of the Michael Jackson era having ended--all the humanitarian things he did through his music and action, which was above and beyond what everyone else has done--finally sunk into my core.  In fact, a few days after Michael's death, Micaiah and I happened to be talking to somebody who also loved Michael Jackson as much as we do.  We exchanged our favorite things about Michael.  Micaiah said that he liked everything about Michael; the person we were talking to said that her favorite was his dancing; and I, not really knowing what to pick since I, too, loved everything about him,  picked the humanitarian things he did through his music and actions as my favorite part about Michael.  I went onto talking about how there are so many who sing about fixing the world and address the social problems that plague our world in their songs but don't actually go out there to do anything about it.  Bono of U2 is one such case.  He addressed the problems but didn't go to the places affected.  Michael, on the other hand, not only addressed the problems in his songs, but he actually went to the various places that were plagued by the various problems and gave money to help those places.  Who could ask for more than what Michael did?  Anyway, in my mind, Heal The World is like a We Are The World Part II, so it was fitting that both songs were performed back-to-back at Michael's memorial service.  I had regained most of my composure by the time the children's performance ended, but I fell apart when Paris, Michael's daughter, stepped up to the microphone and tried to talk to the public.  The most she was able to say was, "I just wanted to say that Michael was the best daddy I've ever had" before she broke into uncontrollable sobbing.  She wanted to say a lot more, but she couldn't seem to gather herself together enough to talk.  I wanted so much to hold her in my arms.  I pictured myself holding her while she and I cried together until we couldn't cry anymore.  Sometimes, you can cry yourself out so much to the point that you fall off to sleep.  I envisioned me holding her while we cried, both of us falling off to sleep, and me holding her while she slept even if I awoke before she did.  I guess you could say that I saw a little bit of me in her--that feeling of being abandoned or being alone in this world with nobody to depend on.  Once the service ended and the two-minute interview of Larry King, who was sitting in the third row behind the Jackson family, ended, John stopped recording and we turned off the TV.  I was going to play music while John made dinner, but I changed my mind.  After the ordeal I went through, I needed it quiet and time to clear my head from all thoughts and emotions.

    People cope with loss in different ways.  While I seemed to wear my feelings on my sleeves, Micaiah didn't.  He felt the same way as I did, but he wasn't' showing it.  The other day, we were listening to Michael's songs when John commented on the fact that, on the one hand, it hurt to hear Michael's voice, yet playing his music keeps his spirit alive.  He thought that he wasn't making sense, but I fully understood where he was coming from.  As long as people like Micaiah and I continue to play his music, he's still alive in our hearts and minds.  Not only would his voice still be heard, but his messages would still continue to live and be carried to other people's ears.  For two and a half weeks, I've had many sleepless nights, thinking about the end of an era and shedding many tears, and hoping that the many who are currently saying good things about him continue to keep his spirit alive in that way.  Yet, I continued to go on daily with business as usual--attending doctor's appointments with Micaiah and doing work around the house or on the computer.  When we learned on CNN last Sunday about when Michael Jackson's memorial service would be, Micaiah and I debated on whether or not we really wanted to watch it.  We were so pained by the loss that we really weren't sure whether we could take anymore of it.  In the end, we decided to watch it.  In my case, since we couldn't be there in person, watching it on TV was the next best thing.  It also provided a sense of closure for me.  I also knew that I would've felt terrible about myself for not having watched it.  I'm glad now that we did and that we recorded it.  Not only were there the speeches and performances, but there were video clips played to highlight.  I don't know when the recording was made or where it came from, but at the end of Jennifer Hudson's performance of Will You Be There, a recording of Michael praying to God was dubbed in.  At first, I didn't know who was speaking.  As I listened closer, I realized that it was Michael's voice.  Needless to say, that sent chills down my spine.  Now that the closure has been made via the memorial service, it's now a matter of me accepting that God (G*d) probably took Michael at the right time.  Micaiah said a week ago that he felt that G*D took Michael at the right time.  I know cognitively that it was the right time, as Michael did all that he could do and all that God put him on this earth to do.  Emotionally, on the other hand, it's hard for me to accept that.  As many others have put it, he's "gone too soon."  Yet, he would've still been enduring the pain and heartache from all the insults being hurled at him left and right and gossip surrounding him if he were still alive.  As someone put it in their speech at the memorial service, "He's now in a place where "there's no hurt or sorrow"".

    Since Michael Jackson's memorial service, I've already personally seen one instance in which Michael's spirit hasn't died.  Just the other day, our two older grandsons and Micaiah's ex came down to visit us for the afternoon and for a barbecue.  I don't know how it got started, but we were talking about something and I made a reference to Michael Jackson.  I didn't realize that my eldest grandson, who is five years old, had heard me.  The next thing I knew, he told Micaiah and I excitedly that he could do a Michael Jackson dance.  He started walking backwards, which is one of the basic moves of the Moon Walk, and then spun and jumped around.  I didn't know at that moment whether to laugh or cry, as I was remembering that I was only thirteen years old when Michael Jackson did that.  It's been many years now, but it's as if it just happened yesterday.  I've told a few other people who were twenty years younger than me about those "Thriller" moments.  Like our five-year-old grandson, they didn't quite understand what those moments were like as I relived the moments through my stories.  Still, it's fun to tell my stories.  In fact, I even told our grandson that he and I would have to sit down someday and listen to Michael Jackson while I told him my stories.  Whether that opportunity will arise or not, I don't know, but telling him that sounded good to me.  I'm sure that there'll be many more like our grandson who will imitate Michael's singing and/or dancing in years to come.  AT least, I hope so.

Linda (Makedah bat Leah).

Swim club president denies racism in pool controversy

• Story Highlights
• Swim club president John Duesler: "It was never our intention to offend anyone"
  
• "He knows what happened at the pool that day," day care director counters
  
• Duesler: Club is "very diverse," and had reached out because area pools had closed
  
• Duesler says club's board has yet to decide whether to reinstate center's contract
  

updated 8:05 p.m. EDT, Sat July 11, 2009

 

From Susan Candiotti and Jean Shin
CNN

HUNTINGDON VALLEY, Pennsylvania (CNN) -- The president of The Valley Swim Club on Friday strongly denied charges of racism after his club canceled the swimming privileges of a nearby day care center whose children are predominantly African-American.

John Duesler said he underestimated the number of swimmers who would come to swim at the club.

"It was never our intention to offend anyone," said John Duesler. "This thing has been blown out of proportion."

Duesler said his club -- which he called "very diverse" -- invited camps in the Philadelphia area to use his facility because of the number of pools in the region closed due to budget cuts this summer. He said he underestimated the amount of children who would participate, and the club's capacity to take on the groups was not up to the task.

"It was a safety issue," he said.

The Creative Steps Day Care children -- who are in kindergarten through seventh grade -- went to The Valley Swim Club in Huntingdon Valley on June 29 after the center's director, Alethea Wright, had contracted to use the club once a week.

During their first visit, some children said they heard club members asking why African-American children were there. One youngster told a Philadelphia television station a woman there said she feared the children "might do something" to her child.

Days later, the day care center's $1,950 check was returned without explanation, Wright said.

She was dismissive of Duesler's comments Friday.

"He knows what happened at the pool that day," Wright told CNN in a telephone interview. "I was embarrassed and humiliated."

She called it an "unfortunate situation," adding, "I know what happened; the members know what happened and a higher power knows what happened."

After news reports of the incident, the office of Sen. Arlen Specter (D-Pennsylvania) said Specter sent a letter to the club president asking him to reinstate the contract with Creative Steps, saying, "I think that you would agree that there is no place for racism in America today."

Duesler said he appreciates the senator's concern, but the club's board has yet to make a decision of how it will proceed.

"If we're going to revise our policies here, we need to make it so for all the camps," he said. "I just don't think we're prepared for that." 

Duesler earlier in the week told two Philadelphia television stations the children had changed "the complexion" and "atmosphere" of the club, a comment that protesters outside the facility Thursday said showed that racism was involved.

Bernice Duesler, John Duesler's wife, called the negative response her husband has faced since the incident "unbearable."

"He's not one of the good guys -- he's one of the great guys," she said, holding back tears. "He doesn't deserve this."

She added, "If there really was a racial issue that happened, my husband and I would be the first one[s] picketing."

Jim Flynn, who said he was one of the club members who made a complaint against the children, told CNN this week it was not racially motivated.

"There were a lot of children in the pool and not enough lifeguards," he said. "As general members we were not told that they were coming. If we knew, we could decide to not come when the pool was crowded or come anyway. We could have had an option."He also said invitations to two other day care centers, neither of which contained minority children, had previously been withdrawn.

Girard College, a private Philadelphia boarding school, told CNN on Thursday it would offer Creative Steps Day Care use of its facilities this summer.