I read Gideon Silverstone's commentary about the Michael Jackson Movie, "This Is It", which is the rehearsal he was doing for what would've been his upcoming "This Is It" tour in London. I have not yet seen the movie, but I'm waiting until it's out on DVD. Not only is it easier to watch movies on DVD so that Micaiah ben Malachi can describe the scenes to me without other viewers in the theater complaining about Micaiah talking to me in my ear, but we do not have to worry about the bus route and schedule of our local city bus to get to the theater and back home. Another reason for waiting until this particular movie's out on DVD is because Michael Jackson's death is still very painful for me to deal with. It's not that I'm focused on his death instead of the message in his songs, as it is the reverse. It is taking the big step of letting go that is difficult for me. Unlike many who idolized him as a performer and entertainer who danced and sang, I loved Michael Jackson for who he was as a human being with feelings. Not only did the lyrics in his songs convey messages of making individual changes to make the world a better place, but his songs about love, the pain of being mistreated, and feeling sad and alone showed that there was more to him than the dancer with all the wonderful dance moves and the singer with all the squeaks and squeals. Having been picked on and humiliated by adopted family members and classmates as a child, I could easily relate to what he sang about; such as the song, "Childhood". The more negative things people said about Michael, the more I was drawn to him. In fact, there were times when I got defensive at the utterance of a negative statement that I got angry. I was so drawn to him through his music that he felt like a close friend or relative to me. So, when he died, I felt like a part of me went with him. When Micaiah told me a few weeks ago about this new movie coming out soon, it made me cry. As much as I keep wanting to hold onto Michael Jackson, the idea of the movie was another reminder to me that this would be the last recorded performance ever and that I had to learn to let go. I have to stand on my own two feet and help carry on Michael's messages instead of keep looking back for Michael's physical existence. Yes, his spirit is still alive and can be our guide, but we all have to learn to let go of the physical and hold onto the spiritual. That is what I have been trying to work on since Michael's death.
About a week ago, Micaiah told me that he read on the Internet that Michael had recorded two new songs that he would be performing in his "This Is It" tour. When Michael Jackson, himself, announced that the upcoming tour was it, he said, "this is it". So, I, naturally, thought that the phrase meant that this was the last tour he was ever going to do, or this was the tour that his fans have been waiting for for fifteen years. This is it. Well, about five days ago, I was channel surfing on Sirius-XM Radio when I heard the beginning of a song I'd never heard before. Curious about the song, I listened. The song was "This Is It" by Michael Jackson. It is always nice to hear new material from Michael Jackson, yet hearing the song left me feeling sad and empty. Not only was there that reminder of his physical absence, but the usual power of energy in his music was duller. Yes, I strongly feel that he put his all into the song, but there was no more extra energy left in him to put in that drive that was in his past songs. Sure, he was older and it had been eight years since his last album, "Invincible", but the various problems he had over the many years and, in particular, the last six years, had taken a toll on him mentally and physically. The mental drain from his personal problems, in turn, drained him of his physical energy. I have since heard the song three or four more times and just found out before writing this blog entry that there will also be an album, which is the companion to the movie. To hear the song go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQichHlV_-4 Below is the lyrics.
Makedah bat Leah.
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This Is It
Michael Jackson
This is it, here I stand
I'm the light of the world, I feel grand
Got this love, I can feel
And I know yes for sure, it is real
And it feels as though I've seen your face a thousand times
And you said you really know me too yourself
And I know that you have got addicted with your eyes
But you say you gonna live it for yourself
Oh
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on baby just understand
This is it, I can say,
I'm the light of the world, run away
We can feel, this is real
Every time I'm in love, that I feel
And I feel as though I've known you since a thousand years
And you tell me that you've seen my face before
And you said to me you don't want me hanging round
Many times wanna do it here before
Oh yeah
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on baby just understand
This is it, I can feel
I'm the light of the world, this is real
Feel my song, we can say
And I tell you feel that way
And I feel as though I've known you for a thousand years
And you said you want some of this yourself
And you said you want to go with me all the while
And I know that it's really true myself
Oh yeah
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on please baby understand
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan
I never thought that I would be your lover
Come on baby please understand
Oh yeah
I never heard a single word about you
Falling in love wasn't my plan
This Is It!
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